The Yin Yang Theory

Another first in our household since hubby’s passing. Its our little miracle’s 7th birthday. For those who know my blog, you will know that he is on the autism spectrum.

I look back today on the challenges he has faced, that I have faced, that we have faced and I am proud. Of him, of us, of me.

Losing his dad at such a young age, I was worried the effect it would have on him. But, alas, this little gem has just grown from strength to strength. His dad would be so amazingly proud of him. Often than not he is my strength and helps me through.

It’s 6 months since his dad has passed and it’s as if it has spurred him to grow in leaps and bounds. Wish his dad was here to see him now. Wish he was here, so I could let him know we have been given the go ahead to send him into main stream schooling.

Hence my Yin Yang title. For with every bad situation there is a good. We might not see it or understand the logic in it but it is there. We just need to take a step back to appreciate it and not just focus on the negative.

Fagri, thank you! For blessing me with our amazing kids, for instilling in them what was important. Thank you, for the life we had. We still miss you.

Often, the truly great and valuable lessons we learn in life are learned through pain. That’s why they call it “growing pains.” It’s all about yin and yang. And that’s not something you order off column A at your local Chinese restaurant.

FRAN DRESCHER

Tolerance

As I write this I still have tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart.

It saddens me deeply that kids and even some adults don’t have a tolerance for special needs kids.

Kids can be truly cruel and it seriously makes me question the ethics we are teaching our future generations.

So here’s my story…

Took Abdullah to the park today, a means for him to release some energy and socialize.

It was the same park I had taken him to with his sister previously and they had played with other kids. So automatically he assumes these kids would know the games he played before when he was there. Association for him I guess.

So there’s my precious little one standing at the foot of the jungle gym saying knock knock and no one is taking note of him. My heart ached when I realized what he was associating. But this was not what pained me.

He followed these kids around trying to get involved in their play. They were but a year to two older than him. He’s cracking jokes in his own language and laughing. Excited to be out in the world.

Then the taunting started. They started making fun of him and the more he tried to get involved the more they ran away and made fun of him.

I tried my best to stand back and let him grow but it hurt cause I understood what they were doing even though he had no clue.

So he fetches me to push him on the swings alongside the other kids. And this hurt me even more. While I was there pushing him on the swings, these kids had no regard for my presence and continued mimicking him and his speech.

So I tried my best to be polite and be the adult I am expected to be and said “That is not very nice what you are doing, he cannot speak and you need to learn to accept kids no matter how different they are.”

Needless to say, the kids today seem to lack the teachings of respect for your elders.

I literally just turned my back and they started daunting him again and throwing him with a ball.

I had to fight with all my strength and willpower to not actually get rude and scold these kids. All I said to them, “Its not right to treat people that way.” And we left the park.

Parents why do we neglect the teachings of tolerance. It is sad that such a simple thing has fallen away and etiquettes are out the window.

Tolerance implies a respect for another person, not because he is wrong or even because he is right, but because he is human.

Compromise

Its been 3 months since I quit my job as an accountant to be a stay at home mom. Working full-time and raising an autistic kid was very challenging and taxing both physically and emotionally.

Thankfully, it has made a huge difference.

In this short space of time, the progress has been phenomenal. He is now fully potty trained (at the age of 4.5) and his speech has improved 10 fold.

Its amazing what a mothers undivided attention can do. Sorry dads, guess some things only a woman can do;)

Cant say I don’t miss working and having adult conversation. And I often wonder if I made the best decision as I have always been the most driven, independent and hard working woman.

Then there’s those special moments with my autistic son that just make it worth while.

He is happier, more content and finally is progressing. But then again, maybe its me that has changed.

As you change your point of view, your views bring about a change in you.